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Moonage Daydream
17 October 2012 @ 12:34 am
The other night I woke up Jeffrey because I was crying because I was having a panic attack. I wont even get in to about what. The first thing he did was grab me and squeeze me to him. I was snotting all over him and he was talking to me, being silly, trying to distract me. He was really only half awake and he said to me, "Hey, so, you want to get all up on my oil can?"


His oil can. He was talking about his yeah, the not awake part. I asked him about it and he went on and on about it and I was laughing and snotting. Oil can... I seriously doubt anyone else will think this is funny but I just want to remember it.
Moonage Daydream
18 January 2012 @ 12:25 am
So Jeffrey and I played Uno for HOURS. Every 25 points was a piece of clothing and then after that it was a truth or dare.

It was super fun lol
Moonage Daydream
28 November 2011 @ 03:07 pm
This morning I talked to Amanda's Husband, Travis for over 2 and a half hours. ( wow...more than I've spoken to her in a long while )

I feel like I'm going to be punished for this.

I stopped talking to him after she accused me of having feelings for him. He and I used to talk all the time. He IMed me this morning which I thought was a little strange but I engaged him in conversation. We have a lot in common and it was really fun. We talked about movies, dreams we've had, fitness (or lack there of lol ), TV shows etc. Plus we hope the same person wins The Next Iron Chef and we were clucking about all the people on the show.

After we got done talking...I felt this creeping dread. I. =/

Uuuuh I hate this. I'm not saying it's all her fault, some of this is just paranoia on my part.
Moonage Daydream
11 November 2011 @ 12:19 am
So Jeffrey told me that he RSVPed us for his companies Christmas party.

Oooh the social anxiety. D-Day is December 17th. At least he gave me some time to find something to wear.
Moonage Daydream
08 November 2011 @ 08:44 am
 ( It looks funny because I C&Ped it from an e-mail. Okay seriously the e-mail was to my ex whom I now consider a good friend but IRL I have /one/ friend.He has known her as well )

Yeah...ugh. Last night Manda just wanted to mention really quickly
that her Dad mentioned to her Mom that he was made because we kept
calling her stupid. Now, I can remember once I called something she did
dumb, she forgot to take her birth control. She said it was mostly
Jeffrey calling her dumb but I can't remember that. She can't name an
actual time this happened, but it was constantly?

I however can you know name ACTUAL EVENTS that pissed me off. Like her
Husband, being a complete twat. They had to help dig out a beaver dam. I
was GOING to help so I went over there, yes space was limited. Travis
told me to move, I moved back three steps. He picked up a bunch of
branches swung it around wide without looking and hit me. He hit me with
a branch in the pelvic bone. And it hurt really, really bad. I lost my
breath it hurt so bad. And I looked at him like "Why? :(" and he said "I
told you to move"

Wow, really? I got pissed and left and went and sat in the truck after
that. I kept bringing it up because I was mad, that little jerk wasn't
sorry at all. My Husband thought I was joking? He didn't realize this
actually happened until after we got home. On the way home, almost home (
it's like a 3 hour drive ) Travis finally apologized "Sorry I hit you
with that stick."

I brought it up with Manda after her bringing crap up with me and she
was all "He didn't do it on purpose" Uh yeah but he was a TOTAL asshole
about it. I'd feel horrible if I did that to someone. He was also being a
total brat the entire time and complaining that Manda never wants to do
anything etc.

It's just annoying. If we do ANYTHING, say the wrong word it's the end
of the fucking world. But her and her fucking jerk Husband can be total
assholes and it's fine. And I'm just sick of it. She made me feel like
I'm this super rude person who says rude crap all the time and no one
would ever want to be friends with such a rude person as I.

After every time we see each other I just WAIT for it. Just wait for the complaint etc.

Another thing that's annoying is that I'm not allowed to talk about my
cats? Because her cats died. Huh, that's funny I can't remember her actually feeling bad about the fact that my cats died/ran away and there wasn't anything I could do about it. And talking about her cats constantly and did I say anything? No. But oh no Manda has a sad, lets stop the entire world from turning and cater to her.

I just realized nothing has changed in our 10 year long friendship.
She's always golden and does nothing wrong and I'm always the one
fucking things up. Doesn't help she has an entire army of supporters
backing her up telling her how horrible I am.

Moonage Daydream
22 September 2011 @ 12:42 pm
I should be packing. I should be doing laundry. I should have taken my meds when I had just gotten up. I should have already showered.

But instead I'm sitting here in front of my laptop surfing the interwebs.

My ex sent me some pictures of myself from the time we were together. ...Wow, what a difference. Though I was probably 100 pounds thinner, that might do it! lol But really, it makes me feel ashamed about what I've done to my body. Yes, I've had help in the form of illness but I'm doing better now so there isn't any excuse. It's funny when I was with him I felt so ugly and fat. And of course he thought I was fat but then again he's English and a prick.  It's funny how much happier I am with myself looks wise, I really am. I was really, really miserable then and thought I was the ugliest girl in the world. Now I'm over weight with bad skin and dry hair and I don't feel ugly. Just unhealthy.

I plan to take affirmative action. Doing instead of just thinking. Accomplishing instead of just letting things go. I need to treat myself better.
Moonage Daydream
26 August 2011 @ 10:56 pm
"I just thought you should know that I feel very uncomfortable being naked with the dog in the bed."  - My Husband.

About 30 seconds after that the dogs swarmed him. Abby got the armpit and Quincy laid on his crotch. It doesn't help that he's a furry.

We took the pooches on a walk around the block. They of course had to be loud and howly and have super sonic yips that set off all dogs we passed. It was also 10pm at night.
Moonage Daydream
09 August 2011 @ 11:37 am
We saw my friend Manda and her Husband Travis yesterday for my birthday. We all went out to sushi and then went back to her place after.

We were all hanging out and as usual Travis was teasing me, trying to get a rise out of me. Like over and over And he knows how I react. Physically, in a playfully violently way. Like, a punch or a pinch or something. But it doesn't really bother him that much. And he kept doing it over and over again. Keep in mind my Husband is RIGHT THERE sitting next to him the ENTIRE time watching all of this. He kept throwing socks at me so I kept throwing them back etc.

Manda was telling me that Travis is like SERIOUSLY ticklish and hates it. So I was like YES something to seriously annoy him. So...I tickled him. And he got a little weird. He is a SUPER awkward guy and he walks like a duck. So he kind of like duck walked out of the room. And I was all yeeees yeees success.

And Manda...said very softly "Stop it, you're being a creeper."

Uh, what? Are you serious?

I feel like....I'm not allowed to interact with Travis. Like if I do it's bad and I should know better.

He's been taunting ME all day and trying to get a rise out of me ALL DAY and I'm the creeper?

I could tell she was bothered. But why? Travis to me is like an annoying younger brother. Nothing more. My Husband thinks it is hilarious that she thinks I've ever had ~feelings~ for him. The lack of sexual tension is extremely obvious. I don't know why she thinks...ugh.

As far as I can tell this doesn't happen with any of her other friends and him. Just me, guess I'm just lucky, right?

Edit: This is making me more upset than I thought. I just...don't...know what to do. Why should I see someone if BEING MYSELF upsets them? Why should I be around someone when I feel like I can't say what I want to say and can't do what I want to do because it will upset them? My Husband thinks she is completely nuts.

Maybe we shouldn't have become friends again. Maybe she just doesn't /like/ me very much, which is fine. She should just own up to it instead of jerking me around and telling me that she misses me and saying that we need to see each other more.
Moonage Daydream
05 May 2010 @ 01:46 pm

This reminds me of my ex BFF lulz

I love Natalie Dee. Seriously, too much.
Moonage Daydream
03 May 2010 @ 11:14 am
Some animal rights activists are fighting to replace the term 'owner' with 'guardian' to convey a more balanced relationship between a person and her or his pet. Do you agree or disagree with the importance of this mission?

My cat already thinks of me mostly as his food give/poop scopper/scratching post.

I'll keep fooling myself by calling myself an "owner" thanks.